Chocophiles Unite

So while my passion for tea is well broadcast, the indulgence of chocolate is an equally powerful pastime. So $45 was a worthwhile fee to attend the “International Chocolate Extravaganza” at the 92nd St Y on March 8. Considering my love for global music, this art is equally intriguing, and enjoyable.

The evening began with a panel discussion with four chocolate connoisseurs: Joan Coukos (Chocolat Moderne), Martine Leventer (Martine’s Chocolates), Kee Ling Tong (Kee’s Chocolates) and Clay Gordon, chocolate “critic” and founder of the New World Chocolate Society. Obviously I, like everyone in attendance, was there for the tasting. Yet my expectations were surprised as these four industry insiders were not overly self-indulgent by any means. They didn’t offer up too much information, true, but were, at least, entertaining. The only downside was the moderator, a “culinary historian” exhibiting the exact tendencies I feared: pretentiousness, high-browed commentary and painfully indulgent need to over-pronounce everything in French.

I won’t drag on about them, but suffice to say Clay Gordon was enjoyable – the most outspoken, and while admittedly high-falutin he wasn’t annoyingly snobbish. He’s that distant cousin you are obligated to visit every summer, the one who is always besting himself by buying a new grill to BBQ on, insists on telling you every spice inside his homemade marinade and how fresh the chicken is, as well as the one that doesn’t allow anyone to touch said grill even though he complains intermittingly about how much work he’s doing while simultaneously slugging back can after can of Coors Light. You know the guy.

His comment about the unnecessary labeling of chocolate as a “wonder health food packed with antioxidants” was not only misleading, but unfounded, brought rabid applause. While raw cacao has many beneficial effects we rarely buy 100% cacao beans in the market. His remarks, consented by everyone else, were to enjoy chocolate because it’s chocolate. Reason enough for me.

45 long minutes and we were sent off to the tasting rooms like a pack of wild banshees.

OK, maybe I was the only banshee, but I wasn’t going to let a bunch of 65-year-old women stand in my way. The rest of this brief note is to comment on some of the chocolate we ate – no, not taste, as the obnoxious moderator warned us (“remember people, we are hear to taste – I repeat taste – not eat, our chocolate”). If it goes into my mouth I’m eating it. Leave me alone, I didn’t pay $45 to hear you ramble on about nothing much at all.

I’m not sure where we started, or ended, to be frank. So chronology isn’t going to help me. Instead, I’ll do it the easy way – by making a list.

Crave Crème Glacée served up their sinful truffle, a bittersweet chocolate ice cream with Grand Marnier. It tasted something like an orgasm in a small plastic wine glass.

Kee’s Chocolate, owned by the same Kee that spoke, was ridiculous. First, a dark chocolate bonbon filled with kumquat, followed by another laced with sesame seeds. The first was the smoothest I tasted all night, in a combination I had never imagined; in fact, both were new to me. During the talk Kee commented first “I don’t really like sweets” with a blushing face, and then went on to mention how she likes to sit around and mix things with chocolate to find those combinations. Now, I’m sure this is something all of these people do, but remember they get paid to do that. Then again I get paid to teach people how to stand on their head and breathe with their lower lungs, so why am I complaining.

Martine’s Chocolates, another speaker-owned shop, featured a raspberry truffle that received the Derek and Nikki approved winner of the night. They had some other petty stuff that was decent, but this puppy exploded in sweetness. Martine is from France so can speak the language without being annoying, and moved to America to get married and open a chocolate shop. I’m glad her dream manifested; the bonus is the shop is a block from Nikki’s apartment.

Chocolat Moderne is not a storefront shop but a supplier, owned by speaker Joan. She came across some chocolate molds in Brussels and decided to pursue this path in America. Her pistachio truffle had all the gorgeous grittiness of Indian sweets, while the honey one was less appealing. But the true highlight of the night (because I got to take it home) was the can of Kama Sutra hot chocolate I’m sipping on right now. Filled with coconut and cardamom, it hands down is the best I’ve ever had, destroying my previous favorite by Vosges. I mean, destroying, really.

Maison Pralus-Choclaterie doesn’t have a website, though should. They were, pound for pound, the top overall company. They didn’t have one standout like the others, but every one of the five I tried ranged from damn good to really really goodly good. They were unique in their smokiness; the Madagascar blend tasted is if charred for a few moments before packaging, giving it a distinct and inviting flavor. Their bars are available, however, at Chocosphere and Chef-Shop, as well as at Dean & Deluca and Murray’s Cheese Shop on Bleecker St.

Payard Pâtisserie & Bistro had these godlike earl grey truffles that were unbelievable. They quickly turned me into a believer. They had some others that were tasty, but really, all I can recall is that bergamot.

Michel Cluizel is in the basement of ABC Home Carpet in Union Square. I’m sure they have some good schwag; the store is ridiculous. Their selection for this night, a Madagascar something or other, was fine, nothing to write about, so I’ll stop. The man serving them also annoyed me, so I was thankful there weren’t two moderators.

Green & Black’s were also representing. The most mainstream of this bunch, you can find their sweetness nearly everywhere, so I didn’t further fill my tummy on this one – though I did snag a small taste of the Maya Gold, an orange-and-spice filled treat worth its weight in Incan currency.

Neuchatel Choclates was serving chocolate-covered animal crackers and pretzels. Useless.

Guittard Choclate Company handed us something that tasted like cardboard.

As for drinks, Sanfaustino was serving up their calcium water that tasted like, well, water. Gotham Wines & Liquor had a damn sweet wine that I loved and didn’t ask for its name, as well as a tasty Taylor Port. And busting out their own fusions, the beverage highlight was SerendipiTea, which has been brewed at my favorite tea spot, The Soy Luck Cafe, on Greenwich near Integral Yoga. On the way to the chocolate show I actually stopped into Soy Luck and grabbed a cup of their Yoda blend – cardamom, cinnamon and cloves. Like all good stories, this one ends in a circle, back to tea, my first love, with a company that can, if they tried, and I’ll support them in doing so, run Moby’s head into an espresso machine.